Next week I have four days off work. In a row! Hot dog!
I keep telling myself I should take a vacation- go somewhere fun! I need to relax and wind down.
I will, however, most likely end up "vacationing" in the pool in my ex's back yard. And I'm cool with that.
At this point, 8 hours of alone time would equate to a 5 star vacation.
Regardless of what I do with it, 4 days off will be heavenly. I think I'll actually use my gym membership. Maybe bake some smore cookies like the kiddo has been wanting to. If I'm really lucky and motivated, hopefully I can even get some sewing in!
Wish me luck, sunshine, and quiet time! ;)
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
The Downside of Love
Some people think love is all roses and rainbows. Some of us know better. I think we all long for a "perfect" love. But truly, is there such a thing? Isn't there always going to be a downside? Nothing is perfect, I'm told.
In love, we have to take the good with the bad. To extent, anyhow. Of course I'm not telling you to accept abuse or anything like that.
I'm simply advising you that when you are ready to throw in the towel because he leaves his socks laying around or because you don't like doing all the same things or because you fight- just remember the good parts too.
Nothing is perfect. Not you, certainly not me. We shouldn't love each other in spite of the bad. We should love each other, as a whole. Every irritating flaw, every goofy crooked smile.
I'll take an imperfect love every time.
In love, we have to take the good with the bad. To extent, anyhow. Of course I'm not telling you to accept abuse or anything like that.
I'm simply advising you that when you are ready to throw in the towel because he leaves his socks laying around or because you don't like doing all the same things or because you fight- just remember the good parts too.
Nothing is perfect. Not you, certainly not me. We shouldn't love each other in spite of the bad. We should love each other, as a whole. Every irritating flaw, every goofy crooked smile.
I'll take an imperfect love every time.
My Pain is My Own.
Why can't I let it go? Why can't I share it, talk about it?
Talking will not ease this burden of pain. Talking will not soothe my wounded soul.
I cannot let go of the pain. I don't know how... not without letting go of the memories first. And that is a step I'm unable to take. I try to remember the good, but after a loss- even the good is tinged with pain. I know that every good memory is in the past and I will never again make a good memory with my best friend. That hurts me deeply.
Pain isn't something you get past. Its something you go through. I'm still going through it. I don't know how long it will take me. I don't know that I'll ever be able to think of him or talk about him without that pain creeping up on me.
I hope that someday I am able to, at the very least, cover up the pain I feel. I've locked it up so tight, I can only hope that I keep those memories locked in their treasure chest in the darkest recesses of my soul... My pain is my own. It always will be.
Talking will not ease this burden of pain. Talking will not soothe my wounded soul.
I cannot let go of the pain. I don't know how... not without letting go of the memories first. And that is a step I'm unable to take. I try to remember the good, but after a loss- even the good is tinged with pain. I know that every good memory is in the past and I will never again make a good memory with my best friend. That hurts me deeply.
Pain isn't something you get past. Its something you go through. I'm still going through it. I don't know how long it will take me. I don't know that I'll ever be able to think of him or talk about him without that pain creeping up on me.
I hope that someday I am able to, at the very least, cover up the pain I feel. I've locked it up so tight, I can only hope that I keep those memories locked in their treasure chest in the darkest recesses of my soul... My pain is my own. It always will be.
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