My Pain is My Own.

Why can't I let it go? Why can't I share it, talk about it?

Talking will not ease this burden of pain. Talking will not soothe my wounded soul.

I cannot let go of the pain. I don't know how... not without letting go of the memories first. And that is a step I'm unable to take. I try to remember the good, but after a loss- even the good is tinged with pain. I know that every good memory is in the past and I will never again make a good memory with my best friend. That hurts me deeply. 

Pain isn't something you get past. Its something you go through. I'm still going through it. I don't know how long it will take me. I don't know that I'll ever be able to think of him or talk about him without that pain creeping up on me.

I hope that someday I am able to, at the very least, cover up the pain I feel.  I've locked it up so tight, I can only hope that I keep those memories locked in their treasure chest in the darkest recesses of my soul... My pain is my own.  It always will be.