I've made my decision. I know what I had wasn't healthy and wasn't good for myself or the kiddo... but then, why does it hurt so much? If I made the right choices, shouldn't I be happier about it? Or at least not hurting so much?
Being happy isn't about having what you want, its wanting what you have... but stupid as it is, I still kinda want what I had. My heart can't let go of the love there was. I know it takes time, and given enough of it, I will be ok.
Will I always wonder what if...? Will I regret turning away from someone who claimed to love me more than any one else ever would? Was I right that the level of abuse would have escalated? Was I wrong to deny my daughter a more stable life with a father figure who cared about her? When will I get my head on straight and just... forget???
Being happy isn't about having what you want, its wanting what you have... but stupid as it is, I still kinda want what I had. My heart can't let go of the love there was. I know it takes time, and given enough of it, I will be ok.
Will I always wonder what if...? Will I regret turning away from someone who claimed to love me more than any one else ever would? Was I right that the level of abuse would have escalated? Was I wrong to deny my daughter a more stable life with a father figure who cared about her? When will I get my head on straight and just... forget???
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